My Mother's Day Memories

In the United States, Anna Jarvis was credited for conceiving and advocating this special day for mothers. The day was recognized as a holiday in 1914. Allegedly, Anna was heartbroken about how the day became a marketing sensation over time and that ever more people chose to buy and send a card, a gift, or flowers to their mother in order to feel good about what they did. The idea was to make mother feel more loved and special on that one day than she had done for her children. Over time, the commercialization of the holiday soured Anna on what she created, and she tried, but failed, to remove it as a holiday.

But, just as no two mothers are alike, the convenience of gifting has not stopped us from celebrating our mothers more on this special Sunday in May. I have memories of my mother tied to this day, from my childhood up to today. My mother was my protector and friend. Even before I had memory of that I can see it on my face and on her face in photographs. She involved me in her life, put me first most of the time, sang to me, encouraged me, and taught me to find joy in this world. I think she knew, and most mothers know how important it is to teach love and joy soon, before the world teaches competition, defensiveness, and goals like getting something for yourself. Mother is about giving all for someone else - you.

My mother gave birth to two more sons, each spaced three years after me. When she brought her new baby home, I saw the glow on her face and the love in her eyes that once was all mine. I learned later, what I could not understand then, that she never stopped loving me with all of her heart. Love does not fit neatly into a measuring cup. There are no limits to love unless we put limits on it. I wish that I understood that at ages three and six. Seeing her love for my baby brothers was for me too, and by watching it, I could see the effect she had on my brothers and a glimpse of how great her heart was for her child. My mother will be 84 next month, and her loving heart is still great.

As I grew up, I saw concern and even fear in her eyes when I left her care to go to school, to play football, and when I got so sick that all that she could do for me was not enough. I saw boundless joy in her when I married, and especially when my wife put my baby son, then my baby daughter in her arms. But, something changed then.

Just as she had to divide her attention as a mother when my brothers were born, I had to put the mother of my children first. Later, I saw how my mother's eyes dimmed as her mother began the last years of her life. She wanted to do so much for her mother, but life is like a baton that is passed from one runner to another. Once the baton is passed, we don't see the one who passed it so clearly because with the baton, purpose also passed. Her mother is still remembered by her on Mother's Day, and every day, I think.

As I write this article, early on Mother's Day, 2019, I get ready to call my mother on the telephone. She lives two states south of me and my wife, where she cares for one of my brothers whose life became one of sickness for him and great sorrow for her. My children will honor their mother today, and I will be part of that. I wish that I could hold onto the baton longer for my mother, but it has already been passed. Anna Jarvis did a good thing for mothers, and for our mothers, we should do what we can, all that we can, to tell our mothers that we love them, and that we always will. #TAG1writer.

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Business Budget - How To Craft A Budget For Your Business

Did you every take the time to speculate where all your money goes?

It is pretty interesting. When I first started my business, I made it a priority to get a closer look at my monthly expenses. To my disbelief, I soon realized that the majority of my expenses were being spent foolishly. In addition, my monthly income was not increasing, though the workload on my plate was.

After I did some research, I decide to craft a business budget. My new business budget gives my room to grow while earning a profit. In the chance that you are going through what I went through, I am sharing a 5-step plan to creating an awesome business budget.

1) TALLY UP YOUR INCOME SOURCES

The 1st element of a good business budget is understanding how much money you bring in on a monthly basis. Please include all sources of income that you receive.

2) Figure out the fixed costs

Fixed costs are the expenses that are charged to you at the same price each month. As you may know, incorporating these costs is the easiest part of the process, in my opinion. You can review what are your fixed costs by reviewing your bank statements

3) Incorporate Variable Expenses

The expenses that do not have a fixed cost are called variable costs. These purchases can ascend or descend depending on the amount of revenue that your business takes in. Your monthly profit will be determined by the earnings you are left with after you paid all of your costs. If your company does better than you predicted, you could use the extra cash to increase your variable spending which will allow you to grow faster.

4) Anticipate "One-Time" Spends

A good perk of making a budget is you will be able to factor "one-time" purchases better than ever. While these items may come up unexpectedly, like the computer to replace the one that is crashed, others can be budgeted for weeks in advanced to protect your company from a financial burden.

5) Mix It All Together

The previous steps of this article outline the elements of a good business budget. Take action by using this checklist with examples so you can your ideal budget without trouble:

Income Resources: Loans, Savings, Hourly Earnings, Other.

Fixed Costs: Mortgage, Mobile Phone, Internet Utilities.

Variable Costs: Wages of Contractor, Raw Materials, Advertising, Transportation, Commissions.

One-Time Costs: Furniture, Laptop, Office Supplies.

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Love Bombing and Narcissistic Attachment

Getting hit by a love bomb feels glorious! The lavish attention and affection seems to answer our prayers. We've found Mr. or Ms. Right - your soul mate; unsuspecting that we've been targeted by a narcissist. The bomber abruptly changes colors and loses interest, and our dream comes crashing down. The rejection is excruciating, especially at the height of romance. It's a traumatic shock to our heart. We feel duped, betrayed, and abandoned. We're confused and try to make sense of the nightmare that was once a dream. What we thought was real was in fact a mirage. We search for answers, doubt and blame ourselves, often losing trust in ourselves and the opposite sex.

Sometimes, partners are ghosted by their disappearing suitor, are dumped by text, email, or a call. If they're rejected in person, they're bewildered by the coldness of the narcissist, who just recently expressed love and promised an amazing future together. They may discover that they've been disposed of for a new prospect, cheated on, or two-timed all along. It's devastating and can be hard to let go, because all of their memories are happy and wonderful. It takes time to accept the truth of who the bomber really was. Protects victims from the painful truth that relationship was not what they imagined.

Love bombing and narcissistic supply

Research shows that love bombers have low self-esteem and are often narcissists; although not all narcissists are love bombers, and some non-narcissists are. Despite a façade of confidence and independence, narcissists feel insecure and empty. They require constant reassurance or "narcissistic supply" from those around them, but, like vampires, it's never enough to fill their emptiness or satisfy their hunger. Rather than confidence, they actually fear that they're undesirable. Their sense of self is determined by what others think of them, they try to control what others think to feel better about themselves. Thus, love bombing is thus a means to seek attention, to boost their ego, and fulfill self-enhancement needs for sex, power, and control. When they're depressed, have suffered a loss, or are disenchanted with their last conquest, they look for new narcissistic supplies.

Many narcissists employ seduction, engage in game-playing and use relationships for self-enhancement. Dating is intense and moves quickly. The attention can be dizzyingly exciting to the recipient. There's frequently excessive communication, reflecting bombers' neediness for affirmation, usually by text or social media, where they can exercise more control at a distance.

Idealization and devaluation

For a narcissist, it's not enough to be liked or appreciated. It only counts when the other person has status or highly valued qualities, such as wealth, beauty, special talents, power, celebrity, or genius. Narcissists idealize prospective partners to augment their own lack of self-esteem. The thinking is, "If I can win over the admiration of this very attractive person, then I must be worthy."

As reality creeps into the relationship, they discover that their partner is inadequate or fear that their flawed, empty self will be revealed as expectations for emotional intimacy increase. Any slight or imagined chink in their ideal image of their partner feels painful. As narcissists' vision of their perfect partner deteriorates, their hidden shame increasingly causes discomfort. They in turn project this onto their partner, whom they criticize and devalue. This is particularly true of perfectionistic narcissists. When their partner's luster fades, he or she no longer provides a satisfactory object to boost their self-esteem. They discard their partner and look elsewhere for a new source of narcissistic supply. When relationships with narcissists endure, the partner feels drained, hurt, resentful, and lonely. Disrespect and lack of caring damage his or her self-esteem over time.

Attachment styles

Narcissists have insecure attachment styles that are either avoidant or anxious, or some combination. People with insecure attachment styles feel a basic insecurity stemming from relationships with early caregivers. They doubt the reliability of others to satisfy their emotional needs, and base their self-esteem on the behavior and responses of others. One showed that people with an insecure attachment style were more likely to engage in love-bombing.

Codependent partners

Most codependents s also have low self-esteem and insecure attachment styles and seek relationships to validate their worthiness. Their unconscious belief is, "If I'm loved, then I must be lovable." Although some codependents may behave in ways that appear needy and insecure, narcissists hide their neediness and act self-assured, in control, proud, and even cocky, like a male peacock flaunting his feathers. To insecure codependents, this display is very attractive. They're impressed and attracted to the traits they wish they had. They, too, idealize narcissists, who soak up their admiration. Narcissists are skillful and charming communicators, adept at making people admire and like them. Both narcissists and codependents are able to adapt to the likes and needs of one another, but for the narcissist, it's a tactic of seduction; for the accommodating codependent, it's a way of relating and their personality style.

When codependents experience love-bombing, their low self-esteem is also raised. They finally feel seen and appreciated, unlike in their childhood. They imagine a future free of their inner emptiness and loneliness with this ideal mate who will always love them. In the initial phase of mutual admiration, they overlook or don't see differences or potential problems.

Solutions

The good news is that we can change our attachment style. Meanwhile, it's important to go slow when dating. Rushing intimacy doesn't rush love, only our attachment. It's an attempt to gratify personal, psychological needs. It takes time to know someone. That is how trust and love grow in a healthy relationship. Mature daters won't use undue seduction, charm, or make premature promises and expressions of love. They take time dating in order to assess whether someone will be a good long term partner, and they won't want to disappoint or hurt him or her.

Stay connected to your body and your feelings. In the intensity of a new romance, question whether your "excitement" isn't really anxiety about rejection and uncertain hope about a rosy future. Do you feel free to be open and honest and set boundaries or are you walking on eggshells? Are you complying to please your partner? In other words, can you be authentic, say "no," and express negative feelings? That usually takes time and trust. Often codependents think, "I trust people until they give me reason not to." Mature individuals know that trust must be earned. Love bombers lie, but it takes time to figure this out.

Watch and listen to how your date treats and talks about others and his or her ex. Does he or she heap praise on you, but orders, blames, or disparages other people? Your date may one day treat you that way.

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Bring Out the Best in You and Your Child With This Good Parenting Guide

Although we require a license for doing numerous things in life, there is no requirement of a license for becoming a parent and this is sometimes the most difficult of all our daily activities. These days, parenting is far trickier than it was, even one generation before. Numerous well-intentioned parents are utilizing inefficient and outdated parenting styles. And as a result, they encounter regular stress and frustration in their house.

Exploring Top Six Good Parenting Skills In Brief

Let's check out top 6 good parenting tips which will motivate kids to want for being well behaved, can enhance family joy and mitigate family fights.

1. Self-care is important

Giving our kids an establishment to become a healthy and happy adult is one of the best things we can do for our kids. However, you should forget to take care of yourself. Self-care must be a necessity, not a luxury for parents. To be a good parent, you require self-care so you can become a balanced and healthy human being too. There are numerous kids who live with parents who are not fun to be around and always stressed out. If you are always getting stress, it will not be a pleasant experience for you or your family.

2. Put your marriage before your children

Some kids these days are raised with a very poor sense of privilege because their parents have made them the core of the world. With the statistics of divorce still hanging around 50%, kids are also sometimes coping with failing, unhappy marriages, and divorce - quite worse for them than missing out on a pair of brand name clothes or toys. So, take your stand and put some efforts and time into your marriage-for the sake of your entire family.

3. Care for your kids

Regardless of your situation-no matter how often the kids make you literally crazy-know there are numerous people in this universe who would delightfully exchange places with you. There are some couples who are ready to offer everything for only having a kid. Try to remember how really lucky you are. So, hug your kid at least 3 times every day. Let them know regularly how fortunate you are for having the scope to be their parent.

4. Concentrate on what you prefer

In case kids are not being praised or getting attention for what they do properly and when they behave properly, you should believe they are going to learn to get attention to not behaving properly. If you observe more what you prefer regarding what they are doing, they are less likely to change into devastating small terrors and the more likely you will motivate your kid for repeating the good behaviors and accomplishments you prefer.

5. Give your family much-required quality time

This is another important parenting advice to remember. Spend time with your kids to have fun with them. Enjoying each other's company, tickling and laughing are the establishments of a healthy and happy house. Having fun can go long ways towards stopping the unnecessary conflict and behaviors which make you crazy. It also offers your family the much-required quality time.

6. Give respect to your kid and expect it in return

Never do anything to your kid which you would not want the kid for doing to you. There are many things you don't wish to be doing incorporate: putting downs, spitting, hitting, yelling, etc. There are some better ways to deal with stress, conflict, and common misbehaviors. Follow a good parenting guide and dedicate to learning good parenting skills which depend on mutual respect - not the fear-based punishment which just makes our children learn to not get caught again.

Verdict

These 6 aforementioned good parenting tips are fun, effective and child-proofed. Take some time to learn to bring out the best in you and your kid so you can get the ultimate mind peace - knowing that you did everything to lead a healthy and happy family life.

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Toys for Children: Everything You Need to Know Before Buying Online

Children love to play; and toys make playtime fun and engaging. Experts in child development say that toys promote positive learning even as they entertain. Therefore, toys can be learning aids that boost various skills in your child. Having said this, not choosing the right toys for your child is detrimental. In fact, you must always consider age-appropriate toys and games when buying. How do you know which toy is best for your child? The guide below sheds more light.

Major toy categories available in the market

Vehicles

Auto-themed toys are some of the most popular. Children are able to play with all manner of miniature vehicles including buses, cars, trucks and more. Consider this, every second, up to 8 Hot Wheels are sold. This is a toy vehicle brand.

Puzzles

There are simple and complex puzzles that suit various ages. These toys are known to trigger creativity and boost critical thinking. Rubik's Cube is one of the most popular puzzles which was created by a Hungarian toy maker. Today, puzzles have gone to another level.

Dolls

These are some of the oldest toys. They are greatly loved by girls because they are made to resemble miniature babies. Plastic and cloth are the main materials used to create dolls. They are not only used by children; there are people who collect them as keepsakes or to decorate their spaces. Some people attach spiritual meaning to dolls.

Construction sets

These are standalone pieces that can be joined together to form a distinct model. These models could be cars, houses and even spaceships. These toys are great for children who like to be challenged. They are interactive and spark imagination. There are adults who also enjoy using these sets for fun.

Digital toys

These are some of the most common toys today. This is because they are fitted with digital technology. They are highly interactive keeping children on their toes. They incorporate virtual elements in which children can learn and access unique entertainment.

Toys that promote physical activity

The most traditional toys in this category include balls, jump ropes, hoops, tops, frisbee, foot bags and many others. These toys make physical activity possible. Tricycles and bikes for children will also promote activity; making them great elements for play.

Ideal toys for various ages

0 to 12 months

A newborn baby is just happy observing their new surroundings. However, when they hit three months, they will be keen on touching various items. Toys at this age will most likely end up in the mouth. In this respect, you must maintain top hygiene with toys. They love colored and textured toys that seem amusing. In addition, they adore toys that produce various sounds like crinkling and squeaking sounds. These are the best options for this age group.

- Rattles
- Crib mobiles that come in bright colors
- Small dolls or stuffed animals that are fluffy
- Floor gyms
- Fabric balls that are small
- Unbreakable mirrors
- Activity boards

1 to 2 years

This is a very curious age. Because of their improved motor skills, your child will want something more responsive. They can start to interact with toys such as the ones mentioned below;

- Bath-time toys like rubber ducks and boats
- Stacking rings
- Nesting cups and boxes
- Toys that can be pushed or pulled
- Musical toys such as drums, pianos and tambourines
- Vehicles such as colored buses together with mini figures of humans

2 to 3 years

This is a great age to introduce purposeful toys. Your child will want something that they can fully explore. They like phones and gadgets that fully interact. Toys that engage their whole boy are exciting and below is a list;

- Tricycles and other ride on toys
- Toy mobile phones and play kitchen sets
- Flashy musical instruments
- Bigger dolls and stuffed animals
- Puzzles and construction toys

4 to 5 years

This is a relatively mature age where there is need for more challenging toys. It is an ideal time to have educational toys that stimulate their minds even more. The best options include;

- All manner of balls soccer, basketball
- Bicycles with training wheels
- More complex puzzles
- Action figures
- Barbie dolls
- Art and crafts kits
- Electronic toys and touch-pads
- Costumes to dress up
- Board games

The benefits of buying kid's toys online

A wide variety of toys

Buying online will give you access to a wide array of toys for your children. You local physical store may not even have the capacity to store the various options available online. This way, you can easily get the ideal toys for your children. From dolls to stuffed animals and musical instruments; you are spoiled for choice.

It is highly convenient

Buying toys online is certainly convenient. With just a click of a button, you will have the right product delivered to you. For busy parents and guardians who do not have time, this is a great method of killing two birds with a single throw.

You access cheaper toys

Buying online will save you money. This is because you can select the best prices that will suit your budget. Also, you can compare the prices from various online sellers to land on the best deal. Online, you can also buy directly from manufacturers; which will naturally save you money.

You get high quality toys

Because you can read user reviews and product specifications, you will be in a position to choose toys that are of high quality. Knowing the various toy components and materials used therein will help you make a decision on preferred quality.

You can buy toys from overseas

If you like a certain toy type from a specific country, buying online will break the physical boundaries. This way, your child can enjoy the most suitable toy sourced from virtually anywhere in the world.

Top tips for buying children's toys online

Buy toys appropriate for your child's age

This is the most important buying consideration. This is because you want to stimulate and entertain your child in the most effective way. Toys that are not suitable in terms of age can even be dangerous for your child. Therefore, take time when searching online and filter the age you wish to buy for.

Be extra careful on the toy size

Sometimes, it can be hard to determine the actual size of a toy online. It is imperative to request this information from your online seller if it is not provided. Buy sizes that are first and foremost safe. Secondly, buy sizes that you feel give you value for money. For example, if you are buying a stuffed animal, confirm that it is larger than your fist; making assumptions may lead to disappointment.

Consider the battery needs

Many electronic toys will be powered by batteries. In many instances, you will have to buy these batteries separately. To this end, consider your budget needs. Also, know where to buy compatible batteries for the toys. Buying batteries in bulk is the best way to keep your child happy. Otherwise, you will have to contend with the hassle of buying single units.

Know the shipping details

From the return policies to the shipping fees and shipping time, get informed accordingly. Your online retailer should charge a reasonable fee for shipping. If the toy is broken or is not what you were looking for, you should return it within a short window. The shipping duration will give you an idea as to when you will receive the package.

Read online user reviews

See what others have to say about the toy. Were many users thrilled or was the toy a huge disappointment? Evade common pitfalls by getting first hand information from real customers. This is one of the merits of buying toys online; you get feedback that is eye-opening.

Did you know this about toys?

- Toys are some of the biggest export items by China. In fact, they manufacture up to 70% of all toys in the world.

- The largest toy market globally is America at 41% followed by Europe at 29%, Asia and Oceania represent 30% of the total toy market while Africa is far behind with a share of only 1%.

- Mr. Potato Head is the first ever toy to be advertised on television and the oldest toy in history is a stick.

- Did you know that Lego was not the original name? The first and original name was Automatic Binding Bricks.

- In 2012, a toy made its way to the International Space Station, courtesy of an American astronaut. This toy was the Red Bird of Angry Birds.

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Singing in the Library

Discipline was not too strict in the grammar school as most of the students were intelligent and interested in studying, but the rules were there and adherence was expected. As in all schools, the habitually bad boys seemed to lead a charmed life, repeatedly evading punishment, while the occasional lapse by an otherwise law-abiding student was invariably punished. That's what happened to me for singing the then popular song about loading 16 tons of number nine coal.

Cotham Grammar School was the jewel in the crown of the Bristol Education Committee in the late 1940s and 1950s. It was the school that seemed to get the cream of the annual crop of boys who succeeded in passing the highly selective eleven-plus examination. In those days in England, about 5 percent of young people entered university and these included about half of those who passed through grammar schools.

After seven years of study I found myself in the third year sixth science form. Our form master was the headmaster, Mr Wood, known inevitably to the boys as 'Splinter.' Our form room was the school library although we attended classes in other rooms and laboratories. It was during our free time that we were left in the library. Occasionally we burst into song and the popular song of the day had the following chorus:

'You load 16 tons and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go,
I owe my soul to the company store.'

The headmaster, having many other concerns, used to leave us for relatively long periods, but this day he returned unexpectedly to find us in full voice. Normally a quiet student, I did not usually play a leading role, but as a member of both the school choir and orchestra I was expected to know something about music. On this occasion the full wrath of authority fell on me because I was standing on a table conducting the performance.

'Come here Powell - singing in the library!' was the call and I was banned from the library for several weeks. Eventually I summoned up courage to plead to be allowed to return and my wish was granted.

My library ban is the only disciplinary punishment that I recall from my schooldays but the words of the song have stayed in my mind. It predicted the fate that awaited many of us, although for the 'company store' we would probably substitute the banks and credit cards.

Saint George, Rusty Knight, and Monster Tamer is a series of nine self-contained historical short stories which introduces George, a hapless knight who has an unusual skill for monster taming, and which, with wit and delightful aplomb takes the young reader on an adventurous journey though some significant moments in history.

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