06:21
Faizan
Dating a single dad can definitely have its up side; for one, you're sure to have a responsible, mature man on your hands, who is most likely good with kids. While that could bode well for your future with Mr. Single Dad, you still have to contend with the time and financial constraints that come with this territory. Your best bets when dating a single father are to be patient and let him take the lead, while at the same time letting him know what you need.
Don't be offended if he's not available right away -- or if he's unavailable on a timetable that seems reasonable to you. If he's the only one parenting his children, it can be tough to find child care, and when he does, he'll need some lead time to set it up. With that in mind, don't expect him to be available for last-minute dates, or to be able to spend all night with you all the time; he has a lot of competing priorities.
Keep finances in mind when you're planning activities. Even if you plan to go dutch, don't expect him to have loads of disposable income to spend on lavish dinners or nights on the town. If he's as responsible as you think he is, he'll be saving most of his dough to provide for his kids.
Let him introduce you to the kids as he's ready. Don't push this issue; there may be a lot of reasons why he's unwilling to share you with his children. In some cases, he may have an agreement with the other parent to wait a while. In other cases, he may want to make sure you're going to stick around before making the introduction.
Avoid pushing the issue about his ex. Whether he's a widower, divorcee or someone who's never been married, the other parent may be a sore subject, and you may not want to see that negative side of him when you're just starting to date.
Avoid kissing up when you do meet his kids. Be friendly, but don't overdo it -- kids will see right through that game. Imagine yourself to be one of their father's friends, and act accordingly. You may also want to have a conversation with your guy before the meeting, to find out what his expectations are of your relationship with the kids. If he's willing to let you dive in and play a parental role right away, take it as a red flag that he's more interested in finding a replacement spouse than developing a meaningful relationship between all of you.
Let him know your boundaries as well. If you're uncomfortable around kids, you're probably in the wrong relationship. However, you may let him know that you want to spend more time one-on-one with him, or that you're uncomfortable sleeping over with the kids in the house. If he thinks you're worth the accommodations, he'll stick around, and likely respect you more for asserting yourself.
Don't be offended if he's not available right away -- or if he's unavailable on a timetable that seems reasonable to you. If he's the only one parenting his children, it can be tough to find child care, and when he does, he'll need some lead time to set it up. With that in mind, don't expect him to be available for last-minute dates, or to be able to spend all night with you all the time; he has a lot of competing priorities.
Keep finances in mind when you're planning activities. Even if you plan to go dutch, don't expect him to have loads of disposable income to spend on lavish dinners or nights on the town. If he's as responsible as you think he is, he'll be saving most of his dough to provide for his kids.
Let him introduce you to the kids as he's ready. Don't push this issue; there may be a lot of reasons why he's unwilling to share you with his children. In some cases, he may have an agreement with the other parent to wait a while. In other cases, he may want to make sure you're going to stick around before making the introduction.
Avoid pushing the issue about his ex. Whether he's a widower, divorcee or someone who's never been married, the other parent may be a sore subject, and you may not want to see that negative side of him when you're just starting to date.
Avoid kissing up when you do meet his kids. Be friendly, but don't overdo it -- kids will see right through that game. Imagine yourself to be one of their father's friends, and act accordingly. You may also want to have a conversation with your guy before the meeting, to find out what his expectations are of your relationship with the kids. If he's willing to let you dive in and play a parental role right away, take it as a red flag that he's more interested in finding a replacement spouse than developing a meaningful relationship between all of you.
Let him know your boundaries as well. If you're uncomfortable around kids, you're probably in the wrong relationship. However, you may let him know that you want to spend more time one-on-one with him, or that you're uncomfortable sleeping over with the kids in the house. If he thinks you're worth the accommodations, he'll stick around, and likely respect you more for asserting yourself.
Posted in: Singles & Couples
