02:36
Faizan
Skip the pomp and circumstance of a traditional wedding without having to resort to the courthouse. Invite guests over for a special event, whether it's a birthday party, engagement party or annual barbecue, and then, partway through the event, surprise them with your wedding ceremony. The key to pulling this off is maintaining complete secrecy from everyone involved with the exception of your spouse-to-be and any wedding vendors you hire.
Maintaining Secrecy
The most important -- yet the hardest -- part of planning a surprise wedding is keeping the secret. Tell as few people as possible. Naturally, your betrothed will know, and you might want to tell your parents to avoid hurt feelings down the road. Make sure your wedding vendors know that it's a surprise wedding so they don't blow the cover once the big day arrives. It's important to create a worthy cover event so guests don't skip it; potential events include milestone birthdays, an engagement party or a family anniversary -- as long as the celebrants don't mind being eclipsed.
Set the Atmosphere -- Generically
While you don't want to make it obvious that you're planning a wedding, you also don't want to eschew invitations and decor entirely. Send out invitations that specifically state the time that the event starts -- give it about a half-hour or one-hour lead time before you surprise them with the ceremony for stragglers. If someone questions why you sent out fancy invitations for a less-than-worthy event, such as a run-of-the-mill barbecue, just tell them that you wanted to make it a special affair. Discuss with your partner what you will do if an important guest declines your invitation; you might choose to reveal the surprise to them to ensure their attendance. To set up for the event, aim to set up a seating area that can serve as a ceremony site without being obvious, such as rows of picnic tables with an aisle between them. Decorate with in-season fresh flowers, making it festive without it being obvious that a wedding is about to occur.
Work With the Vendors
Even if you're not having a traditional wedding, it still takes time to pull together arrangements for the big day. Contact an officiant, caterer and photographer well in advance to check that they're available on the day of your surprise wedding, and make sure they know the circumstances. Ask them to dress in plain clothes when they arrive for the ceremony and reception so they don't give away the surprise. Consider hiring a day-of planner or asking a trusted friend to serve as the coordinator. She can make sure everyone is in place and ready to go when it's time for the big reveal.
The Big Reveal
As the bride and groom, you have three options for wedding day attire: Wear an outfit that's not exactly a wedding dress or suit but that you feel comfortable getting hitched in, changing into a dress and suit approximately 30 minutes into the event, or being fashionably late to your own party and showing up in full-on wedding attire. If your clothes don't make it clear as to what's about to happen, call for the guests' attention. Tell them how excited you are for their friendship and love, and that you're very excited that they're all going to attend your wedding -- right now!
Take the Pros With the Cons
The process of planning a wedding can be, depending on the bride's personality, either fun-filled or stress-ridden. There are definite perks to a surprise wedding for a nontraditional bride, but think about the whole picture before you commit. You won't enjoy any pre-wedding events, such as a bridal shower or bachelorette party, nor will you likely receive as many wedding gifts -- though you might find presents showing up at your door after the fact.
Maintaining Secrecy
The most important -- yet the hardest -- part of planning a surprise wedding is keeping the secret. Tell as few people as possible. Naturally, your betrothed will know, and you might want to tell your parents to avoid hurt feelings down the road. Make sure your wedding vendors know that it's a surprise wedding so they don't blow the cover once the big day arrives. It's important to create a worthy cover event so guests don't skip it; potential events include milestone birthdays, an engagement party or a family anniversary -- as long as the celebrants don't mind being eclipsed.
Set the Atmosphere -- Generically
While you don't want to make it obvious that you're planning a wedding, you also don't want to eschew invitations and decor entirely. Send out invitations that specifically state the time that the event starts -- give it about a half-hour or one-hour lead time before you surprise them with the ceremony for stragglers. If someone questions why you sent out fancy invitations for a less-than-worthy event, such as a run-of-the-mill barbecue, just tell them that you wanted to make it a special affair. Discuss with your partner what you will do if an important guest declines your invitation; you might choose to reveal the surprise to them to ensure their attendance. To set up for the event, aim to set up a seating area that can serve as a ceremony site without being obvious, such as rows of picnic tables with an aisle between them. Decorate with in-season fresh flowers, making it festive without it being obvious that a wedding is about to occur.
Work With the Vendors
Even if you're not having a traditional wedding, it still takes time to pull together arrangements for the big day. Contact an officiant, caterer and photographer well in advance to check that they're available on the day of your surprise wedding, and make sure they know the circumstances. Ask them to dress in plain clothes when they arrive for the ceremony and reception so they don't give away the surprise. Consider hiring a day-of planner or asking a trusted friend to serve as the coordinator. She can make sure everyone is in place and ready to go when it's time for the big reveal.
The Big Reveal
As the bride and groom, you have three options for wedding day attire: Wear an outfit that's not exactly a wedding dress or suit but that you feel comfortable getting hitched in, changing into a dress and suit approximately 30 minutes into the event, or being fashionably late to your own party and showing up in full-on wedding attire. If your clothes don't make it clear as to what's about to happen, call for the guests' attention. Tell them how excited you are for their friendship and love, and that you're very excited that they're all going to attend your wedding -- right now!
Take the Pros With the Cons
The process of planning a wedding can be, depending on the bride's personality, either fun-filled or stress-ridden. There are definite perks to a surprise wedding for a nontraditional bride, but think about the whole picture before you commit. You won't enjoy any pre-wedding events, such as a bridal shower or bachelorette party, nor will you likely receive as many wedding gifts -- though you might find presents showing up at your door after the fact.
Posted in: Wedding Planning
