04:32
Faizan
Parents of teen and pre-teen girls often dread the time when their daughters start dating. The social landscape has changed dramatically in the past decade and will continue to evolve at a rapid pace. Although it can be a scary prospect, a little advance preparation and keeping the communication lines open can head off many of the problems teens and parents face when navigating this complicated issue.
Talk About Your Expectations and Hers
Since teens are pairing off younger and younger, starting a conversation about dating should occur early, and you should revisit the conversation often. It's important to talk about it before she starts feeling pressure from friends, and dating scenarios can start to emerge as early as age 10. Let her know that you expect her to wait for an appropriate age before pairing off. Discuss with her that dating now is practice for more serious relationships much later, and many of the getting-to-know-you skills can be practiced in a group. Let her know that she doesn't need to date to gain a sense of identity, and that pursuing her own interests alone will help her find good friends who could turn into potential dates.
Set the Ground Rules
You will need to set an expectation for everything from curfews to sex, and make sure that she conveys those expectations to her date. Instead of dictating the rules, allow her to state what she thinks is reasonable, and let the conversation evolve from there. She will be more likely to see your point of view if you let her express hers first. Make sure that you cover all of the topics that will keep her safe. Dating often starts online and via text, so include topics like cyber-bullying and sexting. Discuss dating violence and peer pressure. Above all, make sure she knows she can come to you when a problem or question arises.
Get to Know Her Dates
It may seem old fashioned in a world of electronic communication, but parents should insist on meeting every guy she dates. He needs to know who her support system is, and you need to know more about him than his name. A brief exchange before each date can help you to confirm plans and expectations and go a long way to heading off difficulties later. Never underestimate the power of a face-to-face meeting. In just a minute or two, you can size up his personality, attitude toward your daughter and respect for you. This can open the door to a conversation after the date about how things went and his impressions after meeting you.
Stay Involved
Some teens will date frequently, and their interests may change often. Invite her to talk about dating as often as she will let you, and then just listen. Stay up to date on social events at school and in the community. If you have never heard of a place she is going on a date, look it up online to make sure it is in a safe area and that the venue is age-appropriate. If she pairs off with one guy and has more than a few dates with him, make the effort to briefly meet his parents and exchange contact information so that you can keep each other informed.
Talk About Your Expectations and Hers
Since teens are pairing off younger and younger, starting a conversation about dating should occur early, and you should revisit the conversation often. It's important to talk about it before she starts feeling pressure from friends, and dating scenarios can start to emerge as early as age 10. Let her know that you expect her to wait for an appropriate age before pairing off. Discuss with her that dating now is practice for more serious relationships much later, and many of the getting-to-know-you skills can be practiced in a group. Let her know that she doesn't need to date to gain a sense of identity, and that pursuing her own interests alone will help her find good friends who could turn into potential dates.
Set the Ground Rules
You will need to set an expectation for everything from curfews to sex, and make sure that she conveys those expectations to her date. Instead of dictating the rules, allow her to state what she thinks is reasonable, and let the conversation evolve from there. She will be more likely to see your point of view if you let her express hers first. Make sure that you cover all of the topics that will keep her safe. Dating often starts online and via text, so include topics like cyber-bullying and sexting. Discuss dating violence and peer pressure. Above all, make sure she knows she can come to you when a problem or question arises.
Get to Know Her Dates
It may seem old fashioned in a world of electronic communication, but parents should insist on meeting every guy she dates. He needs to know who her support system is, and you need to know more about him than his name. A brief exchange before each date can help you to confirm plans and expectations and go a long way to heading off difficulties later. Never underestimate the power of a face-to-face meeting. In just a minute or two, you can size up his personality, attitude toward your daughter and respect for you. This can open the door to a conversation after the date about how things went and his impressions after meeting you.
Stay Involved
Some teens will date frequently, and their interests may change often. Invite her to talk about dating as often as she will let you, and then just listen. Stay up to date on social events at school and in the community. If you have never heard of a place she is going on a date, look it up online to make sure it is in a safe area and that the venue is age-appropriate. If she pairs off with one guy and has more than a few dates with him, make the effort to briefly meet his parents and exchange contact information so that you can keep each other informed.
Posted in: Teen Dating
