03:51
Faizan
Even if you completely approve of your teen daughter's boyfriend, it can still be difficult for you to think of her as a young lady in a romantic relationship. Showing your teen that you respect her relationship and privacy by allowing her some alone time with her date can be a challenge, since you don't want to encourage inappropriate behavior. However, doing so can strengthen the bond between you and your daughter, and possibly keep her from making unwise decisions when it comes to dating.
Set up a schedule with your daughter so everyone in the family is aware of when she'd like to bring her boyfriend over. For instance, if Tuesdays and Thursdays are when she usually has the most homework, arrange for her boyfriend to spend time at the house on Monday or Wednesday nights. An evening when your daughter's younger siblings will be occupied with sports practice or dance class is ideal as well, so your teen can enjoy her date without little ones peeking into the room.
Reserve a common area of the home for your daughter's in-home date. Ask everyone in the family to clear out of the living room or den on the evenings your daughter's boyfriend comes over. This area is often in plain sight, even when you're in other sections of the home. For example, you may be able to see the den from the kitchen, or have a clear view of the living room from your bedroom when the door is cracked. Give your daughter the freedom of spending time with her date without any family member keeping an obvious, watchful eye on her. However, don't allow her to take the date to her room -- especially if the relationship is new and you know she isn't ready to engage in sexual activities. She'll be much more mindful of her -- and her boyfriend's -- actions if the two are in a part of the home where they can easily be seen.
Keep younger siblings and family members from constantly going into the common area while your daughter and her boyfriend are enjoying a video or dinner together. If your other children are in the home during your teen's date, organize activities for them so she can have a little privacy. For instance, set up a simple craft or cook with the little ones to keep them occupied, and to show your daughter that you approve of her taking time to get to know her date.
Talk to your daughter's boyfriend by himself to clearly discuss your expectations for his behavior while he's in your home. Let him know that he's welcomed, and that spending time in your home gives you a chance to get to know him. However, make your rules clear, such as no drugs or alcohol in the home, no speaking to your daughter or other family members with disrespect or no staying at your home past his curfew.
Keep the lines of communication open with your daughter and continue to affirm the relationship if you approve of it. Casually ask your teen how things are going with her and her boyfriend. Talk to her about how she feels about the two of them getting closer. Gently remind her of chores or homework she needs to do before she can see her boyfriend so she'll continue to handle her obligations responsibly in exchange for uninterrupted home dates.
Speak with your daughter and her boyfriend frankly about sex; leave the floor open for any questions they may have. Once the young couple see your attempts to give them privacy when they visit one another, they may feel more comfortable talking about their relationship. Voice your concerns and let your teen and her boyfriend know the seriousness of sex, how it may change their relationship and discuss why you don't allow extremely private dates in your daughter's room, or in a room with the door closed. Point out the positive attributes of the relationship as well and compliment the teens' maturity so they'll continue to feel comfortable talking with you.
Set up a schedule with your daughter so everyone in the family is aware of when she'd like to bring her boyfriend over. For instance, if Tuesdays and Thursdays are when she usually has the most homework, arrange for her boyfriend to spend time at the house on Monday or Wednesday nights. An evening when your daughter's younger siblings will be occupied with sports practice or dance class is ideal as well, so your teen can enjoy her date without little ones peeking into the room.
Reserve a common area of the home for your daughter's in-home date. Ask everyone in the family to clear out of the living room or den on the evenings your daughter's boyfriend comes over. This area is often in plain sight, even when you're in other sections of the home. For example, you may be able to see the den from the kitchen, or have a clear view of the living room from your bedroom when the door is cracked. Give your daughter the freedom of spending time with her date without any family member keeping an obvious, watchful eye on her. However, don't allow her to take the date to her room -- especially if the relationship is new and you know she isn't ready to engage in sexual activities. She'll be much more mindful of her -- and her boyfriend's -- actions if the two are in a part of the home where they can easily be seen.
Keep younger siblings and family members from constantly going into the common area while your daughter and her boyfriend are enjoying a video or dinner together. If your other children are in the home during your teen's date, organize activities for them so she can have a little privacy. For instance, set up a simple craft or cook with the little ones to keep them occupied, and to show your daughter that you approve of her taking time to get to know her date.
Talk to your daughter's boyfriend by himself to clearly discuss your expectations for his behavior while he's in your home. Let him know that he's welcomed, and that spending time in your home gives you a chance to get to know him. However, make your rules clear, such as no drugs or alcohol in the home, no speaking to your daughter or other family members with disrespect or no staying at your home past his curfew.
Keep the lines of communication open with your daughter and continue to affirm the relationship if you approve of it. Casually ask your teen how things are going with her and her boyfriend. Talk to her about how she feels about the two of them getting closer. Gently remind her of chores or homework she needs to do before she can see her boyfriend so she'll continue to handle her obligations responsibly in exchange for uninterrupted home dates.
Speak with your daughter and her boyfriend frankly about sex; leave the floor open for any questions they may have. Once the young couple see your attempts to give them privacy when they visit one another, they may feel more comfortable talking about their relationship. Voice your concerns and let your teen and her boyfriend know the seriousness of sex, how it may change their relationship and discuss why you don't allow extremely private dates in your daughter's room, or in a room with the door closed. Point out the positive attributes of the relationship as well and compliment the teens' maturity so they'll continue to feel comfortable talking with you.
Posted in: Teen Dating & Sex
