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Faizan
You lay down for a peaceful snooze after a long day of work, and instead of the blissful sound of silence welcoming you into dreamland, you hear the incessant chatter of your teen in the room next to yours. Late-night phone calls can have you tossing and turning and disrupt sleep for the whole family. It is important to talk to your teen about specific rules for using the phone, including what hours are acceptable for conversation. If your teen breaks these rules, it is also important to have clear consequences.
Loss of Privileges
If your teen cannot obey the rules regarding phone usage, a reasonable consequence is to take away privileges for using the phone. Family Education reports that having consequences like these that have important ramifications for your teen are the most effective when the natural consequences of the situation, such as letting your teen go to school sleepy the next day after staying up talking on the phone, are not feasible. You can start by simply taking away the phone after a certain time of night, which Theresa Walsh Giarrusso of the Atlanta-Journal Constitution recommends. Otherwise, Giarrusso says, your teen may feel pressured to answer or to text if friends reach out and need to talk. For more serious infractions, you may consider taking away your teen's phone privileges for a time or taking away other privileges, such as the use of the car. Loss of privileges should be kept short. Psychology Today says that long-term isolation from friends, such as for weeks or months, can cause teens to lose social position, which can make it harder for your teen to maintain friendships and can elevate the power of peer pressure.
Assign Additional Duties
While deprivation, or loss of privileges, may be a common punishment, Psychology Today says that it is not the most effective choice because it does not actually teach teens how to correct the behavior. The focus is simply on punishment. Instead, Psychology Today recommends making your teen make "reparations." That means that instead of losing phone privileges, your teen must do extra chores or participate in community service. When doing this additional work, teens will keep in mind the violation that led to the consequence, and they will be more likely to reflect on their behavior and less likely to repeat it in the future.
Make Them Earn Back Privileges
Punishment is only effective if it helps your teen learn something. Empowering Parents recommends choosing a punishment that encourages your teen to reflect and to make better choices. For example, if your teen is talking past your stated cutoff time for phone use, move that phone time back. Instead of being able to talk until 9 p.m., tell your teen that phone calls are off limits past 8 p.m. Then, if your teen can obey that rule, you can move the time back to 8:30 p.m. As your teen shows you he can obey the rules and be responsible, you can reward him with more phone time until the original time is restored.
Avoid Extreme Punishments
Avoid deciding on punishments when you are angry. Empowering Parents says that overly harsh punishments, such as excessively long groundings or physical punishment, can create resentment in your teen. Not only will this not teach your teen a lesson, but it could encourage rebellion and additional bad behavior, which can cause more problems in the home and make it even more difficult to assign punishments later.
Loss of PrivilegesIf your teen cannot obey the rules regarding phone usage, a reasonable consequence is to take away privileges for using the phone. Family Education reports that having consequences like these that have important ramifications for your teen are the most effective when the natural consequences of the situation, such as letting your teen go to school sleepy the next day after staying up talking on the phone, are not feasible. You can start by simply taking away the phone after a certain time of night, which Theresa Walsh Giarrusso of the Atlanta-Journal Constitution recommends. Otherwise, Giarrusso says, your teen may feel pressured to answer or to text if friends reach out and need to talk. For more serious infractions, you may consider taking away your teen's phone privileges for a time or taking away other privileges, such as the use of the car. Loss of privileges should be kept short. Psychology Today says that long-term isolation from friends, such as for weeks or months, can cause teens to lose social position, which can make it harder for your teen to maintain friendships and can elevate the power of peer pressure.
Assign Additional Duties
While deprivation, or loss of privileges, may be a common punishment, Psychology Today says that it is not the most effective choice because it does not actually teach teens how to correct the behavior. The focus is simply on punishment. Instead, Psychology Today recommends making your teen make "reparations." That means that instead of losing phone privileges, your teen must do extra chores or participate in community service. When doing this additional work, teens will keep in mind the violation that led to the consequence, and they will be more likely to reflect on their behavior and less likely to repeat it in the future.
Make Them Earn Back Privileges
Punishment is only effective if it helps your teen learn something. Empowering Parents recommends choosing a punishment that encourages your teen to reflect and to make better choices. For example, if your teen is talking past your stated cutoff time for phone use, move that phone time back. Instead of being able to talk until 9 p.m., tell your teen that phone calls are off limits past 8 p.m. Then, if your teen can obey that rule, you can move the time back to 8:30 p.m. As your teen shows you he can obey the rules and be responsible, you can reward him with more phone time until the original time is restored.
Avoid Extreme Punishments
Avoid deciding on punishments when you are angry. Empowering Parents says that overly harsh punishments, such as excessively long groundings or physical punishment, can create resentment in your teen. Not only will this not teach your teen a lesson, but it could encourage rebellion and additional bad behavior, which can cause more problems in the home and make it even more difficult to assign punishments later.
Posted in: Teens & Tweens
