23:35
Faizan
Getting engaged is a significant step in a relationship. The right timing can help the engagement, and subsequent marriage, go more smoothly. If you ask different couples how long they dated before getting engaged, you're likely to get a different answer from every couple. There are, however, some general guidelines that can help you decide when to get engaged.
Time Frame
Although every couple is different and has to find the engagement timing that works for them, most experts recommend getting to know someone for at least a year before getting engaged. Couples who are young or unready for marriage, or those who were apart for significant periods of time while dating, may want to wait longer. Mature couples who feel confident in their compatibility and have the support of family and trusted friends may be comfortable getting engaged sooner.
Significance
Couples who get engaged too early in the relationship may later discover that they are not as perfectly compatible as they thought, that a partner has significant flaws they didn't know about or that the romantic love they feel for each other isn't the enduring love that can sustain a commitment. Such couples may have to postpone or cancel marriage plans to allow more time to get to know each other better. On the other hand, couples who fear commitment and continually postpone engagement can bring doubts into the relationship and potentially lose partners.
Misconceptions
Some people get engaged because they feel pressure from family, friends or society to be married by a certain age, because they think engagement will make them seem more mature, because they can hardly wait to plan their dream wedding or because they have been in a steady relationship for a long time. In fact, none of these are good reasons for engagement, and there is no one right time in a relationship, or in life, to get engaged.
Considerations
The right time for an engagement depends on the couple's readiness for engagement and marriage and how strongly they feel they have found the person they want to commit to. Couples may want to consider whether they're ready to handle the excitement and expectations of family and friends who want to push them into planning a wedding or the criticism of those who may start second-guessing the relationship. Couples may also want to get engaged during a time when both are free of major life stresses, such as work or family crises, so they can make sound decisions and enjoy the experience.
Expert Insight
Couples who are thinking of getting engaged should consider whether they are both ready for marriage. They should know their partner's (and their own) strengths and weaknesses, they should bring out the best in each other and be capable of handling conflict and unexpected life events, and they should have similar goals and dreams for marriage. Although the proposal itself can be a surprise, many couples discuss the idea of engagement ahead of time, and some even choose to go to pre-engagement counseling together. This helps ensure their expectations are compatible and that they discuss important issues such as finances, children, religion and family relationships.
Time Frame
Although every couple is different and has to find the engagement timing that works for them, most experts recommend getting to know someone for at least a year before getting engaged. Couples who are young or unready for marriage, or those who were apart for significant periods of time while dating, may want to wait longer. Mature couples who feel confident in their compatibility and have the support of family and trusted friends may be comfortable getting engaged sooner.
Significance
Couples who get engaged too early in the relationship may later discover that they are not as perfectly compatible as they thought, that a partner has significant flaws they didn't know about or that the romantic love they feel for each other isn't the enduring love that can sustain a commitment. Such couples may have to postpone or cancel marriage plans to allow more time to get to know each other better. On the other hand, couples who fear commitment and continually postpone engagement can bring doubts into the relationship and potentially lose partners.
Misconceptions
Some people get engaged because they feel pressure from family, friends or society to be married by a certain age, because they think engagement will make them seem more mature, because they can hardly wait to plan their dream wedding or because they have been in a steady relationship for a long time. In fact, none of these are good reasons for engagement, and there is no one right time in a relationship, or in life, to get engaged.
Considerations
The right time for an engagement depends on the couple's readiness for engagement and marriage and how strongly they feel they have found the person they want to commit to. Couples may want to consider whether they're ready to handle the excitement and expectations of family and friends who want to push them into planning a wedding or the criticism of those who may start second-guessing the relationship. Couples may also want to get engaged during a time when both are free of major life stresses, such as work or family crises, so they can make sound decisions and enjoy the experience.
Expert Insight
Couples who are thinking of getting engaged should consider whether they are both ready for marriage. They should know their partner's (and their own) strengths and weaknesses, they should bring out the best in each other and be capable of handling conflict and unexpected life events, and they should have similar goals and dreams for marriage. Although the proposal itself can be a surprise, many couples discuss the idea of engagement ahead of time, and some even choose to go to pre-engagement counseling together. This helps ensure their expectations are compatible and that they discuss important issues such as finances, children, religion and family relationships.
Posted in: Engagements
