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Faizan
As a parent, it's not easy to watch your children grow up and enter the dating scene. You might still remember them watching cartoons, riding tricycles and saying that the opposite sex was "yucky." There's no official survival guide for parents as they experience their teenagers' first love or watch them embark into the world of courtship, but there are ways to make the transition as smooth and comfortable as possible.
Talk to your teen a day or two before the date to find out what the plans are. Ask where they'll be going, what time they'll be home and if his or her date's parents know about the outing -- physical and emotional safety are your primary concerns. Remind him or her about community or family curfew rules so he or she doesn't forget. If you or your spouse haven't had the sex talk with your teen, now is the time. Discuss the importance of love, respect, admiration and consideration and discourage sexual activity. Most teens frequently think about sex but they must determine that they won't cross any lines or engage in sexual activities, especially on a first date.
Don't micromanage the date but encourage your teen to stay in public places and avoid isolated alone time with his or her companion. Allow some independence but remind your teen about safe dating practices. Encourage your teen to speak up if the date does something he or she feels is inappropriate. Movie theaters, restaurants, malls, sporting arenas, school-initiated activities and public recreational facilities are best. Ensure that your teen has a charged cellphone and ask if you could have the companion's cell number in case there's an emergency. As long as you know where they'll be and have a means of communication, you are in the loop.
Ask to meet your teen's companion before the date. This is typically easier for parents of teen girls, because they can meet the guy when he arrives to pick her up -- if that's the planned arrangement. Parents of teen boys might invite the girl over for dinner or host a family game night before the official date. It's important not to judge the date based on his or her appearance or first impressions. A face-to-face meeting where you get to know a little more about the person will provide some insight. Be positive and encourage the couple to have a good time on the date. Don't embarrass your son or daughter with a long list of do's and don'ts -- those topics should be discussed privately before the date.
Don't wait anxiously by the phone or count the minutes until your teen returns, but do keep your cell phone handy in case there's an emergency. A big part of surviving your teen's first date is realizing that you have to let go, little by little, and this is just another step in the process. When your teen gets home you might say, "I'd like to hear about your date if you want to talk about it," or "I know it's getting late but I'd love to hear about your date tomorrow if that's ok?" Don't ask your teen 20 questions or quiz him or her about behavior on the date. You want to keep the lines of communication open and show trust.
Don't assume the first date is a sign of a long-term or permanent relationship. Even if the date went well, your teen might decide to keep his or her options open. He or she may not want to ruin the friendship by developing romantic feelings for the other. If he or she does want to continue dating, let your teen know that you'd like to get to know his or her companion better, too. Suggest dinner, miniature golf, a picnic or an outdoor recreational event as a way for everyone to hang out and get to know each other better. Offer to have your teen's date and his or her friends over for a movie night if he or she thinks it's too early in the relationship for family get-togethers.
Talk to your teen a day or two before the date to find out what the plans are. Ask where they'll be going, what time they'll be home and if his or her date's parents know about the outing -- physical and emotional safety are your primary concerns. Remind him or her about community or family curfew rules so he or she doesn't forget. If you or your spouse haven't had the sex talk with your teen, now is the time. Discuss the importance of love, respect, admiration and consideration and discourage sexual activity. Most teens frequently think about sex but they must determine that they won't cross any lines or engage in sexual activities, especially on a first date.
Don't micromanage the date but encourage your teen to stay in public places and avoid isolated alone time with his or her companion. Allow some independence but remind your teen about safe dating practices. Encourage your teen to speak up if the date does something he or she feels is inappropriate. Movie theaters, restaurants, malls, sporting arenas, school-initiated activities and public recreational facilities are best. Ensure that your teen has a charged cellphone and ask if you could have the companion's cell number in case there's an emergency. As long as you know where they'll be and have a means of communication, you are in the loop.
Ask to meet your teen's companion before the date. This is typically easier for parents of teen girls, because they can meet the guy when he arrives to pick her up -- if that's the planned arrangement. Parents of teen boys might invite the girl over for dinner or host a family game night before the official date. It's important not to judge the date based on his or her appearance or first impressions. A face-to-face meeting where you get to know a little more about the person will provide some insight. Be positive and encourage the couple to have a good time on the date. Don't embarrass your son or daughter with a long list of do's and don'ts -- those topics should be discussed privately before the date.
Don't wait anxiously by the phone or count the minutes until your teen returns, but do keep your cell phone handy in case there's an emergency. A big part of surviving your teen's first date is realizing that you have to let go, little by little, and this is just another step in the process. When your teen gets home you might say, "I'd like to hear about your date if you want to talk about it," or "I know it's getting late but I'd love to hear about your date tomorrow if that's ok?" Don't ask your teen 20 questions or quiz him or her about behavior on the date. You want to keep the lines of communication open and show trust.
Don't assume the first date is a sign of a long-term or permanent relationship. Even if the date went well, your teen might decide to keep his or her options open. He or she may not want to ruin the friendship by developing romantic feelings for the other. If he or she does want to continue dating, let your teen know that you'd like to get to know his or her companion better, too. Suggest dinner, miniature golf, a picnic or an outdoor recreational event as a way for everyone to hang out and get to know each other better. Offer to have your teen's date and his or her friends over for a movie night if he or she thinks it's too early in the relationship for family get-togethers.
Posted in: Teen Dating & Sex
