06:05
Faizan
Towards the end of 2016, it was clear that I was only getting so far; in fact, it was as though I was actually getting worse, not better. I had worked with people, but some of the changes that I had made didn't last and I was only getting so far.
What also stood out was how I needed to be working with a therapist in order to feel at ease. I didn't have the ability to regulate my own system, so I had become dependent on these kinds of people.
The Unexpected Happened
During this time, I just 'happened' to have a car accident; fortunately I wasn't hurt and neither was anyone else. My car was a write-off, even though it was only damaged on one side and looked fine from the back, front and the other side.
In a way, this accident was a manifestation of how I felt at the time - along with feeling angry and frustrated, I felt powerless and as though I had no control over my life. So, losing control and no longer having a car to drive increased the intensity of how I had felt to begin with.
Down but Not Out
The feelings within me were bound to create a situation in my life that reflected how I felt at a deeper level. I wasn't willing to throw in the towel though; I had come too far to do that.
What also played a part here was that I didn't think that I would have come so far only to be left in the dark. I knew that I had to keep going and that the right guidance would soon appear.
The Crooked Cure
My search for answers continued, with this being a time when I came to hear about how most of the therapy/healing our there is just a short-term solution. Someone can then feel settled when they are with their therapist/healer, but when they are not, they can end up feeling completely dysregulated, or they can feel better once they have stopped having this support, only to return to how they were before shortly after.
What also stood out was how I needed to be working with a therapist in order to feel at ease. I didn't have the ability to regulate my own system, so I had become dependent on these kinds of people.
The Unexpected Happened
During this time, I just 'happened' to have a car accident; fortunately I wasn't hurt and neither was anyone else. My car was a write-off, even though it was only damaged on one side and looked fine from the back, front and the other side.
In a way, this accident was a manifestation of how I felt at the time - along with feeling angry and frustrated, I felt powerless and as though I had no control over my life. So, losing control and no longer having a car to drive increased the intensity of how I had felt to begin with.
Down but Not Out
The feelings within me were bound to create a situation in my life that reflected how I felt at a deeper level. I wasn't willing to throw in the towel though; I had come too far to do that.
What also played a part here was that I didn't think that I would have come so far only to be left in the dark. I knew that I had to keep going and that the right guidance would soon appear.
The Crooked Cure
My search for answers continued, with this being a time when I came to hear about how most of the therapy/healing our there is just a short-term solution. Someone can then feel settled when they are with their therapist/healer, but when they are not, they can end up feeling completely dysregulated, or they can feel better once they have stopped having this support, only to return to how they were before shortly after.
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