00:52
Faizan
Two friends brought up this statement to me in the past three months. "Why Do Bad Things Always Happen To Me?" Do you understand the impact of this statement? This means they are struggling in life, and everything is not working in their life.
Waves of challenges hit them over and over again. They call these challenges -problems or bad things. In their opinion, they do not experience high's and low's in life like everyone else does. They experience low's and lower's.
They are waiting for a White Knight to rescue them from all bad occurrences. They are waiting for answers to their struggling life.
However, they become so good at waiting that when the White Knight appears, they doubt him, and choose to wait for the next shinier Knight. Or when the answer to their problem appears, they doubt the answer and choose to wait for a more acceptable answer.
They forgot that White Knights can appear in many forms, and answers can come in many different methods. Any Knight or answer that do not fit into their context and criteria is deems not suitable. The truth of the matter is only answers that are not within their reality and criteria can really help them. Little did they know that it is their original frame of mind that causes them to be in this dire state. To resolve their problems, they got to find answers outside this frame.
This is exactly what Albert Einstein meant when he said, " We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
How do you stop these perpetual bad things from going lower and lower?
Dump The Emotions Consciously
Yes, I know. When bad things happened, you are probably so emotional to actually do anything to turn it around. Our first instinct is going into a reaction, turning ourselves into a victim. Complain, whine, blame game begin.
We feel unjust, unfair and sometimes unappreciated. "Why do I have to go through this", we asked.
We get into a reaction because we are dumping out the emotions from our system. We have to let the emotions out. It is part of the healing process to dump the emotions. However, dumping the emotions without any awareness can do more harm than good.
Dumping of emotion is the first step to the healing process. This first step is like opening up a wound to clear the bacteria and clotted blood inside. Problem is after opening up the wound, you got to close it back. Wounds have to be stitched up, bandaged etc. And many do not know how to stitched up the wound.
What happened to most is after opening up the wound by dumping their emotions, (complaining, whining and gossiping) they don't close up the wound. Thus, they continue to stay in that victim state. What does a victim sees all the time? BAD things and problems.
To close up the wound after all the dumping of emotions; firstly, acknowledge that you needed to dump. Acknowledge that you are complaining, whining or gossiping. Set aside a time and duration to do the dumping.
I practice "lay blame and justification night". Life isn't plain sailing for me all the time. I faced terrible things from time to time. And if I needed to dump my emotions, I will plan a night with 2 - 4 hours of dumping.
Waves of challenges hit them over and over again. They call these challenges -problems or bad things. In their opinion, they do not experience high's and low's in life like everyone else does. They experience low's and lower's.
They are waiting for a White Knight to rescue them from all bad occurrences. They are waiting for answers to their struggling life.
However, they become so good at waiting that when the White Knight appears, they doubt him, and choose to wait for the next shinier Knight. Or when the answer to their problem appears, they doubt the answer and choose to wait for a more acceptable answer.
They forgot that White Knights can appear in many forms, and answers can come in many different methods. Any Knight or answer that do not fit into their context and criteria is deems not suitable. The truth of the matter is only answers that are not within their reality and criteria can really help them. Little did they know that it is their original frame of mind that causes them to be in this dire state. To resolve their problems, they got to find answers outside this frame.
This is exactly what Albert Einstein meant when he said, " We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
How do you stop these perpetual bad things from going lower and lower?
Dump The Emotions Consciously
Yes, I know. When bad things happened, you are probably so emotional to actually do anything to turn it around. Our first instinct is going into a reaction, turning ourselves into a victim. Complain, whine, blame game begin.
We feel unjust, unfair and sometimes unappreciated. "Why do I have to go through this", we asked.
We get into a reaction because we are dumping out the emotions from our system. We have to let the emotions out. It is part of the healing process to dump the emotions. However, dumping the emotions without any awareness can do more harm than good.
Dumping of emotion is the first step to the healing process. This first step is like opening up a wound to clear the bacteria and clotted blood inside. Problem is after opening up the wound, you got to close it back. Wounds have to be stitched up, bandaged etc. And many do not know how to stitched up the wound.
What happened to most is after opening up the wound by dumping their emotions, (complaining, whining and gossiping) they don't close up the wound. Thus, they continue to stay in that victim state. What does a victim sees all the time? BAD things and problems.
To close up the wound after all the dumping of emotions; firstly, acknowledge that you needed to dump. Acknowledge that you are complaining, whining or gossiping. Set aside a time and duration to do the dumping.
I practice "lay blame and justification night". Life isn't plain sailing for me all the time. I faced terrible things from time to time. And if I needed to dump my emotions, I will plan a night with 2 - 4 hours of dumping.
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