21:44
Faizan
Human beings have a difficult time with the idea of limitations. We don't want to be told there are things we cannot do, which is why we hold stubbornly to the idea that "if we really put our minds to it," there's nothing we can't accomplish.
Over my years as a psychologist and coach, I have witnessed, firsthand, the frustration, disappointment, depression, and stress of those who cling to this belief. And honestly, there's nothing more difficult than watching someone trying and failing, over and over again, to fulfill a dream or desire they have no real aptitude for.
The fact is, certain people are better at certain things than others. By embracing these "limitations" and focusing on our gifts, we actually free ourselves up to be happier and more successful.
I didn't always feel this way. In fact, when I was still an idealistic senior in college I wrote a paper that embraced the viewpoint of Dr. Fritz Perls, the father of Gestalt Therapy, who described diagnoses as labels that put people into pigeonholes and prevent us from having a genuine experience with others. Dr. Perls embraced the idea that our freedom lay in having no preconceived notions about different "types" of people (or, in the context of my training, their psychological differences).
In this paper, I argued for an approach to human interaction without preconceived labels or categories of any kind. This, I maintained, was the only way to have true, honest, and genuine encounters with our fellow human beings.
My professor for the class helped me to understand that what I advocated in my thesis was impossible. He patiently and kindly pointed out that labels and categories were the basis of human learning and that, without them, every moment of every day would be unique and overwhelming. We would be like newborns, encountering everything for the first time, with no history and no context within which to understand anything beyond the immediate sensation it created. Not a desirable way to live!
I point this out because I am often challenged by people who take umbrage with the categories that form the core of Perceptual Style Theory, which I helped to develop. These are people who resent the "limitations" of the six innate Perceptual Styles, who believe these labels can only be treated mechanically, rather than as a means to experience the unique human being beneath them.
Over my years as a psychologist and coach, I have witnessed, firsthand, the frustration, disappointment, depression, and stress of those who cling to this belief. And honestly, there's nothing more difficult than watching someone trying and failing, over and over again, to fulfill a dream or desire they have no real aptitude for.
The fact is, certain people are better at certain things than others. By embracing these "limitations" and focusing on our gifts, we actually free ourselves up to be happier and more successful.
I didn't always feel this way. In fact, when I was still an idealistic senior in college I wrote a paper that embraced the viewpoint of Dr. Fritz Perls, the father of Gestalt Therapy, who described diagnoses as labels that put people into pigeonholes and prevent us from having a genuine experience with others. Dr. Perls embraced the idea that our freedom lay in having no preconceived notions about different "types" of people (or, in the context of my training, their psychological differences).
In this paper, I argued for an approach to human interaction without preconceived labels or categories of any kind. This, I maintained, was the only way to have true, honest, and genuine encounters with our fellow human beings.
My professor for the class helped me to understand that what I advocated in my thesis was impossible. He patiently and kindly pointed out that labels and categories were the basis of human learning and that, without them, every moment of every day would be unique and overwhelming. We would be like newborns, encountering everything for the first time, with no history and no context within which to understand anything beyond the immediate sensation it created. Not a desirable way to live!
I point this out because I am often challenged by people who take umbrage with the categories that form the core of Perceptual Style Theory, which I helped to develop. These are people who resent the "limitations" of the six innate Perceptual Styles, who believe these labels can only be treated mechanically, rather than as a means to experience the unique human being beneath them.
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